Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ephemeral randomness




Here is a list of short one liners that often cross my mind. I tend to save them somewhere if I find them worthy enough.


1. Let us walk over the silken sky of moonlit dreams before the sun rises again and poisons it to a blue reality

2. You never need to tilt the vessel which beholds talent. It has a habit of spilling itself.

3. An atheist is not one who is too arrogant to believe in god. He's simply too wise to believe that God should never be bothered with trivial demands.

4. White smoke arising from a burning cigarette, weaving random patterns then receding away from each other, finally surrendering themselves to non existence. We, the white smoke; and life, the burning cigarette.

5. Every golden syllable that crossed our breaths is hanging to my lips, floating inside my eyes. May be I'll never say, may be you'll never see.

6. It's amusing to see the miracles of friendship. It pulls you out from the deepest of despair. It teaches you that the unbounded joy of life comes through sharing, be it food, clothes, happiness or sadness. That nothing in this world is more blissful than a smile on your friends' faces even if it comes at the cost of yours. ultimately, it makes you realize that the greatest gift of friendship is friendship itself

7. I'm yet to come across a day in life not regretting about the past, not contemplating about the present and not fearing about the future.

8. Sometimes, I am too busy to ponder about how bad my life has been to realize how worse it could have been.

9. Life doesn' always grant what we wish for, as only it knows the unseen stupidities of our hearts and minds.

10. Never be ashamed of your mediocrity for excellence is nothing but the later stage of it.

11. A gaze of your existence,a breath of your fragrance, neither in some anticipation nor in any remembrance, Transient moments locked inside the closet of our eyes, beauties of life left behind, plunging into death's acceptance

12. In the monochromes of a sombre sky, 
I watched a rainbow made of true colors,
And raindrops sliding down it innocently,
To paint me in your love for an eternity

I wonder whether you could see it too

13. Come, on the valleys of silence, let's make a bridge of words for we are just a few syllables away from union and just a slip away from separation.

14. The inevitability of the future can not be stopped by the fear from it.

15. I can never be stupid enough to understand how smart I am and can never be smart enough to understand how stupid I am.

16. We make many friends, a few good friends, a fewer best friends and rarely ever a true friend.

17. Sometimes it occurs to me that hatred is a truer emotion than love for it is far more passionate, sincere and pure in its nature. Moreover, you can afford to be disloyal in love but not in hatred.

18. I don’t fear death for it is the greatest inevitability but I do fear life for it is the greatest illusion.

19. It seems rather ironical to me that nothing in this world teaches us the art of living better than the fear of death.

20. We humans are the greatest masochists. We have an unusual knack of turning towards exactly the things which would destroy us in the end.

21. There are a lot of lessons I've learnt from my Mother. Not being like her is one of them.

22. Every righteous idiot has a great imagination. His talks always revolve around Should Be-s and Must Be-s.

23. We must always listen to the advise and words of the elders if we want our lives to be insanely boring



Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Unleashing Genius by Dilip Mukerjea-Book review



Every night when we go to bed, surrounded by a deep silence, a wild rush of thoughts seems to overpower us and our imaginative capabilities. We tend to think towards the unthinkable directions and suddenly the limits of the horizons seem to stretch themselves a little bit further pushing away our inhibitions, redefining dimensions and breaking all the conventions. Holding onto a chain of some random thoughts, we travel across the length and breadth of the universe, even reaching for the stars and be supreme of all. Everyone of us has this sneaking desire to be known as a genius amongst our peers but due to the some reasons, we always manage to convince ourselves that it is far beyond our reach to excel and realize the most wonderful gift given to us, our Brain.

As a matter of fact, we DO have the potential to break our boundaries and truly become a genius and this is the message that Dilip Mukerjea’s latest book “Unleashing genius with the world’s most powerful learning systems” gives us. Written in an exceptionally fresh, interactive and creative manner, the book reveals some of the most interesting facts about human brain, its thinking pattern and its biological makeup. Don’t we all at some point of life forget a vital link between events that is the essentiality of the moment or don’t we all have difficulty remembering names, places and dates (if you have a girl friend, you will agree with me on my last point)? This is the book that tells us about how we can become more organized and less forgetful in life just by picking up little clues that are scattered everywhere around us.

Through this highly innovative and illustrative book, Mukerjea has tried to give a deeper insight into the unexplored and more often than not unutilized potential of the human mind but in a fun way. Flowing as smooth as a fresh stream of water in a waterfall, it takes you into your own mind, its intricacies and areas that can still be improved no matter how old or young you are. The book is divided into ten chapters each covering one aspect and function of the brain and then giving out its complete elaboration with exercises at the end of each chapter to give your brain cells a run for their neurons which would make you fall even more with the book and your brain. And don’t get surprised if while reading the book, you get transported back into your kindergarten days when every word and picture had an action associated with it. No wonder why most of us still remember those nursery rhymes that we learnt around 16-17 years back but not a chemistry equation or a mathematical formula that we learnt just a month ago.

Mukerjea’s brilliance and creativity in writing this book is definitely worth a huge applaud as it never ever lets you down with any sort of monotony or bland content. High on fun quotient, the book is alive and speaking throughout its 500 pages of life while infusing a sense of brightness in its reader. If you have a younger sibling, or even some elder around who isn’t much into reading but very much into forgetting, this book can be the ideal gift. I’m sure they’ll shower you with gifts and gratitude after reading this book.

And last but not the least I would like to say or recall one last thing. As a child, I remember having a coloring book in which a pair of identical looking pictures were drawn, out of which, one was completely colored and the other one left completely blank for us. Now I realize that it wasn’t merely an empty picture, it was more of a small representation of life which can be made as much beautiful and bright as we want it and a reflection of our deepest ideas which can really soar to unimaginable heights if we give them a fair chance and wings of faith. And I’m sure most of us have forgotten that drawing book as a thing of old and dusty memories. But now, it’s high time to pick up that drawing book once again and start filling it with free and bright colors and see the change for yourself.

This review is a part of the http://blog.blogadda.com/2011/05/04/indian-bloggers-book-reviews" target="_blank">Book Reviews Program at  http://www.blogadda.com">BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!



Sunday, November 13, 2011

Live from London, Dead from India-a review of Parinda Joshi's book "Live from London"



There exist almost some uncanny parallels between Katrina Kaif and Parinda Joshi’s latest book ‘Live from London’. Both were conceived in London, both of them strategically and slyly chose India as the location to sell their respective area of arts (at least they liked to believe so), and finally and most importantly, both of them suck big time. Except for the difference that the former still manages to carry it off somehow, the latter doesn’t share the same luck.

Set in the backdrop of London, the plot primarily revolves around a clumsy teenager named Nishi Gupta who happens to be an aspiring singer and wants to make it big in the musical circuits of London. That is when she lands up in a musical reality TV show, Britain’s got talent and ends up making a complete embarrassment of herself in front of the many live and TV audience after getting verbally thrashed for her disastrous performance by the not so kind judges. The entire universe of her fairy tale dreams comes crashing down right on her face and she retreats into an incurable isolation for many days only to stuff down endless platters of Indian food served by her doting parents to show their culinary and spilling from the brim solidarity with their only daughter.

 Misery stricken and deeply disappointed, she ultimately decides to recollect the broken pieces of her confidence with the help of her three friends and bags a paid internship in one of the largest recording companies in the UK. The otherwise morose and bland life of Nishi takes a tangy u-turn as she assumes office and just in the nick of time, she gets into an affair with an emerging American sensation, Nick Sindhu Chapman who is being launched by the company in which she is working and happens to be insanely cute. Basking in the utter disbelief of her good fortune, she suddenly gets a new lease of life in her arm candy which leaves all the girls drooling over him and burning in envy of her and makes her almost a celebrity overnight, a feat she could not achieve because of her supposed talent. Things are running smooth as silk for her until one day Nick discovers about her on stage debacle on TV and decides to restore her “doll’s” lost pride  by giving her a chance in his upcoming album against the wish of his agent and the company(awww..how heroic!). 

Then enters the vamp in their love tale manifested in the form of Kelly, a troubled and talented singer who is signed by the company to do a duet album with Nick. Sparks start flying all over the place as they start touring all over the world to promote the album. The poor girl is left with no other option but to stay back home and be supportive to all the endeavors of her cutie pie boyfriend, like the urban, ultra-modern girl but the possessive lady resurfaces and she decides to attend a concert in which both Nick and Kelly are performing. This is where the trouble begins when she catches them kissing backstage after the concert (oops!) and decides to get out of the relationship but as usual, it is better said than done. She is entangled in a web of her broken relationship and a highly demanding job.

The events in her life take a downward steep when she is fired from her job without any reason and has to return to her native country India where a lavish wedding of one of her cousins is scheduled to happen. But the unbelievable and totally filmy luck of Nishi Gupta once again shines down on her and she is selected to be the host of a musical reality show with the help of some recommendations from her loving uncles. Back at the wedding, congregation of all her known and unknown relatives continue and she decides to invite her London friends for the wedding. They refuse, they agree, they come and all of them have a soppy reunion. What comes along as a pleasant surprise for Nishi is the arrival of Nick all the way from London to meet her and explain himself. And then another love story unfolds just like Raj and Simran of DDLJ in which the male protagonist comes to India from London to win back the love of his life, Simran. Wow! The dude must be very rich.

Good looks don't necessarily make good books and that is exactly what Parinda Joshi should learn from her debut book . She has tried her level best to ape Chetan Bhagat and his style by making pathetic and over the board attempts to be funny and conjuring up irritating one- liners at various instances but in this futile pursuit of sprinkling a dash of unnecessary humor, she has somehow lost the sense of coherence and structure that connects a novel to the reader and most importantly, to itself. In fact, these supposed punches make the read all the more intolerable by annoying the reader to no limits. Today, sane people have more important jobs to attend to than knowing how many times a girl changes her clothes before going out to a party and how many times she applies mascara in a day or worse how many kisses she blows to herself before the mirror (I would like to stand on the other side of the mirror if girls actually do that!)

 The story has nothing new to offer with the routine an average girl falling in love with a super stud guy and the problems, misunderstandings, the mess and the reunion.  The wait for something logical and connected was eternal and even after the last page, I couldn’t understand the purpose of the plot or the novel. The story line is absolutely, persistently and unfailingly boring and I would rather watch Tulsi Virani weeping out of her Glycerine laden eyes than reading this coma-sleep inducing book which has an irritating dosage of love, sex, misunderstanding and chick culture. Of course, those who are fed up with their lives and are looking for a cheap way of committing suicide can consider reading it as a gift from Miss Joshi.

However, there were some events that stimulated my literary senses but the subsequent events reaffirmed my faith that this book is something that you can’t be proud to be having in your bookshelf.  I can actually recall more than many moments while flipping through the pages when I wished to be brain dead to incubate myself from the Two Hundred and four pages of pure torture. How can an author be so ruthlessly insensitive and insensible while drafting out a story and more so audacious in bringing it out is a matter of incomprehensibility for me. After reading this book, I thought of having an RWA (Readers Welfare Association) that listens to the grievances of afflicted and affected readers and every book that comes into the market should be screened and scrutinized by it to save many lives, bucks and hours that could be utilized into more productive businesses.

Parinda Joshi’s attempt at writing a teen chick transiting into adulthood book can’t be written off completely because what I said was from a guy’s frame of reference and being the typical chick-book it is, it can even go on to be liked by many girls who are dreaming of finding the prince charming of their lives and then dancing around the trees with them but dear Ladies, it either happens in Yash Raj’s movies or Parinda Joshi’s book, not in real life. And by the way, she needs to be more attentive while listening to Hindi songs as at one point she misspells the brilliantly written song “Naina Thag lenge” from the movie “Omkara as “Naina dass lenge” or at least be intelligent enough in copying them correctly from the internet.

On the flipside, if you are seeking out revenge on your ex-flame, then this book is the perfect weapon to vent out your frustration and make her feel sick and nauseated (I’m already assuming that she is not a brain dead girl).

At last but not the least, as a signing off note, I would advise you to keep away from this book or if you want to splurge your millionaire daddy’s hard earned money mindlessly and rashly, you can go against my advice and purchase the book but even in that case, don’t forget to buy along loads of Disprins, a bucket (in case you want to puke) and a wig (if you decide to pluck out your own hair). And yes, don’t forget to switch off your brains.  


This review is a part of the http://blog.blogadda.com/2011/05/04/indian-bloggers-book-reviews" target="_blank">Book Reviews Program at  http://www.blogadda.com">BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

Monday, September 12, 2011

A letter to God by the letter 'G'


Hello God. How are you? Hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits, wealth and health. And I also hope that you are having a good time sitting up on a pink smoky porch with your Lady and enjoying all the latest happenings on earth with a cup of coffee (Or may be beer, if your wife is cool with it) in your hand.

I’m bothering you with your proceedings because I’m caught up in the middle of a terrible situation out of which I can’t navigate my way. First of all, I must thank you for all the good things that you’ve bestowed upon me. The people of the Eastern hemisphere, especially India, were extra kind to me in extending their warm gesture and treating my existence with some dignity. I was suffixed after the name of every person who was called out with respect like Gupta G, Sharma G, Besharma G, Chadda G, Chaddi G so on and so forth. I was blessed to become the opening letter of the surname of one of the most influential figures of India born till date, Gandhi G. Although I and Miss. B have always been at loggerheads for Gandhi G was also known as ‘Baapu’, but still, I’m the one he was born with. I was as inseparable from him as his dhoti was. But still, B never leaves any chance to discredit me from his name. (B)itch. Anyway, I never knew that one day this man would be kissed by almost the entire population of India in the pages of currency notes for people here in India have a strange habit of kissing and licking their money secretly(especially the policemen and parliamentarians) as if they are trying to arouse it. So much so that the insatiable and neglected wives are now resorting to wearing Gandhi G’s mask so that their husbands take notice of them .Then came my biggest moment of pride. Parle group launched a brand of cheap but yummy biscuits under the name of Parle G to give a sigh of relief to sulking mothers who were facing a tough time in gulping a glass of milk down their kids’ throats and I shot to fame almost instantly and became a celebrity overnight, just like Rahul Mahajan. "G bole toh Genius". My popularity and reputation were reaching sky high and the rest of the alphabets were burning in the flames of jealousy. What losers!

But then, for some unexplained reasons, my career started heading towards a steep descent. First came the grading system in which ‘A’ stood for maximum number of marks and ‘F’ stood for fail. Despite my previous work experience, none of the schools accepted me and all the letters still make wild fun of me by saying “G for Get lost or Go home”. I couldn’t believe my luck. Even F who has a reputation of being the flag bearer of one of the most widely used cusses in the world, makes faces on seeing me. Is this really happening? Just when I thought that the worst was over for me, I was hit by another severe blow when the women’s innerwear makers brought out something called as ‘G string’. Are you kidding me? Don’t you know where you’re throwing me? I mean, I could accept being pushed out by the Schools out of their grading scheme but hanging onto someone’s inner pants is worse than being licked by men! I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t get out of house for two entire months. My neighbor F for being the Fool he is, thought that I had sailed off to some distant land and had even called up his close friends U, C and K to have a suspicious party at my house. When I went to the cops for filing an FIR, they told me that they couldn’t lodge my complaint because F has a stronghold in the FIRs area. Disappointed, dejected and penniless, I had to leave my house in my boxers only. 

Then one day, while I was having the leftovers of ‘Pakoras’ wrapped up in a newspaper, my attention was suddenly caught by some recent major scam that had rocked the entire nation. I would have ignored it completely for scams in India are more common than having babies but I was alerted when I saw the letter G associated with it. On reading the full article, I came to know that you had inflicted the worst on me out of your closet. I was now linked to the rear of one of the biggest scandals to have hit India. From Parle G to 2G. My life was shattered and I didn’t even know what hit me. My forefathers in heavens must have disowned me by now just like I have been outcast here on earth.

Now, when I can’t take anymore of all the insult and ignominy, I’m forced to write down to you stating my plight before I hang myself from the ceiling with a note sprayed on the wall reading "G for Given up”. I hope that you do something about this issue at the earliest and restore my lost pride and respect in the society because dude, without me, even you (God) can neither sign someone's birth or death warrant nor can give autographs to your worshippers.

My best regards

Thursday, September 8, 2011

It could have been love








It was a strange sight. Nearly four hundred people had gathered inside the small yet accommodating perimeters of the College Hall to mark and celebrate an eventful journey that was slowly nearing its end. It was the last time that the class of 2011 was to be seen at the same place and every heart had the same wish. A few more days, a few more hours in the safe havens of this place they liked to call College. This was the place where many relations were forged, many were broken, some dreams had shattered and some destinies were fulfilled. And at last, it was the moment of closure for all that had gone by. It was time for them to say goodbye.


The atmosphere was moist with the smoldering hearts whose warmth had penetrated deep into the eyes and had forced a drop or two of tears out of them. It all looked like a pot with myriad emotions bubbling and intermingling with one another, giving out a nostalgic and cherishing aroma. In the crowd of those swarming faces and hearts, all soaked up in a heavenly yellow hued light descending from the ceiling lamps above, there stood Ayushmaan, all dressed up in his new farewell suit. The one he had taken exclusively for that evening. With a smile spread all over his face, he was clicking pictures of his batch mates and placing himself in the glare of many flashes. In his mind, he was collecting every single grain of memory of the people who had once been a part of his life and weaving them in a silken thread as a beautiful souvenir of his glorious present which was just at the brink of dissolving and may be disappearing into past.



There was chaos all around the place with different voices sweeping through the air heavy with fragile and tense words. Yet, amidst so many eyes, he could still recognize the ones emanating a magnetic light from them. The eyes that had enraptured his gaze for many months.  The two windows that opened to a beautiful promise of life. At a distance of a few meters, her face was twinkling like a diamond against the countless hues of the vast commotion that seemed indistinguishable in the vibrant shadow of that evening.


Dhwani. Yes, that was her name, in absolute justification of its meaning, voice. This was the voice that had become the hymn of his heartbeat, the rhythm of his pulses and the light of his soul. Her face was veiled in a partial shimmer of the moon light leaving the brilliant features she was gifted with, exposed. There were unexplained creases all over her face due to weariness of the day and her hair were flying carelessly in every possible direction. Her attire was very plain with no exaggeration, a typical Blue Kurta and a Jeans to go with it, she did not look exactly like a sworn epitome of beauty.

Yet, for Ayushmaan, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

 His heart was pounding heavily and each of his breath echoed clearly in his ears despite the deluge of voices he was immersed in. He had thought about making a much delayed and needed confession to her. Words were flowing in a wave of haphazardness and were culminating to an unsuccessful attempt of making meaning out of them. He had rehearsed many times in his mind for this moment but he seemed to be forgetting all his sense of coherence on the sight of her. But it had to be done somehow and at this moment only. He knew that in a few months, he would be leaving Delhi for an unknown period of time and would never get a chance to express his heart and its voice would remain unheard forever. He didn’t know whether he was meeting Dhwani for the last time. Fearing the worst, he had decided to pour his feelings out to her that evening.

Nature had also worn its best robe to be a witness of the decisive moment. The evening dusk had just set in and the orange traces of the evening sun were slowly melting away from the sky. The lovely showers had just fallen over the earth as blessing from heavens and the weather was still basking in the bliss of the pleasant coolness of them. The clouds above waited above with bated breaths letting out a soft rumble sometimes wishing him luck.

Mustering all the courage he had been endowed with, he proceeded towards her with ginger steps. His brain was spinning with innumerable anticipations that might follow. He knew he loved her. He was as certain of this as he possibly could be…or perhaps more certain than anything else in the world today.

May be her response would be yes or may be she would say no but oddly the prospect of either of them didn’t thrill or scare him much because deep in his heart he had an unshakable faith upon his love for her. And whatever might be her reply today, he would be at peace with himself for the rest of his life for not betraying or turning against the call of it.

His love was honest, selfless and above all pure. There was never a question in his mind that raised doubts about its credibility or intent. The conscience from which it manifested was absolutely blemish less and lust less. And may be this was the reason that with every step, he could feel his belief growing stronger and stronger in only one assertion that she was indeed, his destiny.

As the crisp breeze gushed past her ruffling and unsettling a few streaks of her hair, she gently closed her eyes may be to seep in every ounce of comfort it gave. Ayushmaan liked to call them “The smiling eyes” which always reminded him of the smile on the face of an innocent new born which was the source of utmost joy and pleasure for everyone around him.
Hi, Dhwani”, he said in a tone whose gravity he himself could not fathom.

Hi, Ayush. You look smart in this Suit”, she said

Haha! Thanks a lot. And you look mesmerizingly beautiful

Oh Ayush! Never ever leave a chance to lie or do you? I know I look horrible”, she said in a manner which forced out a suppressed smile from his thoughtful face

I’m not lying, not this time at least which might as well be the last time we are seeing each other. Believe me, you are one of the most charming girls I’ve ever laid my eyes upon

 “Now you are seriously making me blush.” There was a restrained euphoria layered very subtly in the overtones of a feigned embarrassment in her voice. “And what is this “last time” affair. College is ending but that doesn’t mean that our friendship ceases to exist beyond its boundaries

Ahh! You never know, Dhwani for the journey of life is very strange that tends to make people stranger

Yes. But on the same journey strangers become acquaintances and slowly acquaintances transform into life long companions that become as inseparable as one’s soul.” 

 “Agreed but as times change, people also change. Nothing or nobody remains the same. You might be talking like this to me now but who knows after ten years you might not even remember my face or even my name

Ok, Mr. Philosopher. It’s always been impossible to win in an argument with you. But let me assure you one thing, that I won’t forget you ever. Not after ten years, not after fifty tears when you’ll need a stick to walk and I would still be whistled at by my grandchildren’s friends or not until I live

Jesus! Are you sure that you would keep a spot permanently reserved for a person like me who has at best annoyed you to no limits?”

Yes, I am

As soon as she said those words, there was a sustained and unexplained silence hanging in between the breaths they drew. For some moments, neither of them had any clue what to say next.

With a practiced precision, Ayushmaan broke the ice.

How do you suggest if we go out for a walk? The weather is wonderful

Umm..Ok. As you say”, she said as they started walking towards a relatively less populated pavement.

This needs to be done right away, he thought. It’s either now or never. You won’t be with her for a lifetime. No one stays for that long and you’re well aware of the fact. All the promises of being there forever are made in an adrenaline bout which are downright impractical, to say the least. This is your time, this is your chance so don’t let this opportunity slip away from your hands. Say it, say it!!!

So, how has college life been to you?” he suddenly blurted out in a rush

Well, it has been eventful or rather wonderful. There were some rough patches, some hard times but that is life, isn’t it? I met some of the most amazing people here and had the fortune of making some really precious friends..like you

Her last words almost faded into a whisper whose echoes were too loud and irresistible for him to escape. What exactly did she want to say? Was there a hint of implicitness in them that she wanted him to understand? He could never get to the end of the mysterious trail she was unknowingly leaving with each of her utterance.

Dhwani, please pardon me for this transgression but would you mind terribly if I ask you a personal question?”

“Depends upon how personal it is.” She replied casually

“How come a girl like you is not into any relationship till now? You are intelligent, smart and good looking and yet you don’t have ..umm a boyfriend?” He asked in a hesitant manner that seemed more like an apology.

“Why do I have to have a Boyfriend just for the sake of it? Well, there is no definite or appropriate reply to that question. Just that these things never interested me too much. I was far too absorbed in my studies to spare a thought on this aspect. But yes, I have been approached by a few guys in the past but I could not see them beyond being friends.”
“So that’s with me. Hey! What about you? Why is there no girl in your life? Don’t YOU like someone?” She asked raising her eyebrows in a mischievous arch.

Her question was so unexpected and sudden that it took him a moment to recover from the straightness with which it was posed. All of a sudden the delicate balance between their lives had been disturbed and everything that she knew, thought and felt about him was going to change forever.

He remained silent for a moment and then stopped. He was aware of that the ripple of every syllable uttered by him would come back to haunt him in his future but today, he wasn’t worried about the consequences. He slowly turned towards her, locked his eyes with that of her and letting out a soft sigh, he said, “As a matter of fact, I do”

A lot had happened in the split second that had just passed by. She was too surprised to react or even to know the reason behind it. His words were quite mysterious, as they always used to be but somehow, he wasn’t. He had conveyed a lot through his brevity. Everything was perfectly clear as a day sky but still she wasn’t ready to accept the subtlety in which it was said. Regaining herself, she faked a laugh. 

“So, who is the lucky girl?”

But his eyes didn’t make any movement. They were speaking volumes at that very instant, pleading to get understood. Every feature and expression on his face had become motionless and it seemed that his eyes were the only breathing part of his existence. He kept looking at her, without any blink, without any twitch.

Every golden syllable that crossed our breaths is hanging to my lips, floating inside my eyes. May be I’ll never say, may be you’ll never see” He said

But she could see it. It was right there in his eyes. Every shadow of doubt had been removed when she saw her own reflection glinting inside his watery eyes and she knew that very second what he had meant by those words. Her beauty was beheld in his eyes in a way she could have never imagined.

Stop joking Ayush, now you are freaking me out. I’m not being able to understand the meaning of your hyperboles”, she said, taking a step backward and avoiding his uncomfortable and piercing gaze.

“Do you really think that I’m joking, Dhwani? And are you being true to yourself when you say that you don’t understand any of what I’m saying?” he said in a voice that was grave and heavy.

She chose to stay silent. She knew that she was lying to him and to herself. His plainness had made her a prisoner in her own mind and there was no escape from it. She was losing every bit of sanity she had managed to hold back until now.

And at last, he said it.

Yes, Dhwani, I have started loving you. I don’t know the reason myself but I do. And you’re the first and possibly the last girl in this college for whom I’ve had such strong and fierce emotions. I know that I’m putting our friendship at great risk by making this confession but I don’t want to lead my entire life with a trailing regret. From here on, whatever happens, I don’t care because right now, this moment is what matters to me and you, whose presence makes 
it all the more beautiful."

“But why me, of all the girls you’ve met in your life, why me only?”

“Can you ever know the reason why you like a specific color? Why you identify with certain emotions more than anyone else around you? Have you ever tried to figure out what makes you feel connected to someone instantly? No because you can never get to the reasons behind any of them. Some things in life are beyond reasoning and rationality and that is the beauty of them. They don’t need any reason to exist, any definition to be defined. They are 
purposeless yet indispensable.”

“I really don’t know what to say. I’ve never given myself this chance of seeing you in this light. I’ve always liked you as a friend but moving beyond friendship is a thought that never came to pass”

“Love is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice that we all have to make. Sometimes sooner and sometimes later. sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. But in the end, we all have to answer to its call which is what I’m doing right now. I’m not saying that I’ll love you the most. That is a promise whose practicality is far-fetched but let me assure you that I would love you to the best of my abilities. Now I leave it upon you to respond to its call."

 “You’ve given me a tough choice to make. All that you have said is perhaps right but all these matters seem too complicated to me. I have a lot of friends and all of them are so important and special to me that I fail to understand the necessity or compulsion of having someone who is beyond this mold”

“Then maybe it is time for you to break your molds and see what lies ahead. Having a companion will not lessen your ties with your friends even by an ounce. In fact, companionship is a ripened product of a true friendship. The line of distinction is very thin and it’s up to the people whether they are able to understand that and preserve both of them or not. It’s not every day that love knocks on your doors but when it does, take a step forward and accept what it has to offer because today you might not need it but later in your life, when you do, it might be too late. Like time, love is also transient. It is as sensitive in its nature as it is rare. It bestows its bliss only upon the people chosen by it and the others spend their entire lives in an eternal and an unsatiated yearning for it”

She was listening in rapt attention to his every word. For the first time in her life may be, all that had looked incomprehensible to her was staring in her eyes, deeply and dangerously simplified. She was lost in a deep introspection and her eyes were darting frantically here and there. No matter how unwelcoming or uncomfortable it was, there was no denial that everything Ayush had said made perfect sense.

It bestows its bliss only upon the people chosen by it and the remaining spend their entire lives in an eternal and unsatiated yearning for it”

She was gripped by those words that refused to die down inside her mind. Had she been really indifferent to love and its pull? She certainly wanted to be loved but wasn’t ready for it at the time. Yet, there was a possibility that she might never be able to find out what it is to love and to be loved. What if that really happens?

They both were walking now, on a taut string of silence that was disturbed by Ayush.  

“I hope you can think it over while having an ice cream”, he spoke with a sudden lightness in his voice.

“Thank you but I think I’ll pass” she said, still lost in some far away thoughts

“Are you angry or upset with me?” he asked

“No. Just that I don’t feel like having it. You go ahead. I’ll take a bite from yours”

“You sure about that because I don’t like people who take a bite from my ice cream and FYI, I’m paying.” He said with a wink.

“Well, Mr. Ayush then it’s time for you to break your mold and make this one time exception. And FYI, I know that you are paying”, she replied with a smile

And they both laughed. It seemed like the birth of a new dawn after a long, long night. The past Ninety minutes had changed and redefined many meanings for both of them. It’s every tick, as long as a decade, was now an inseparable part of both of their lives which had intertwined for that frame and given them a goblet of beautiful memories for their entire life.

Spotting an ice cream van nearby, Ayushmaan went over to buy an ice cream. When he came back, she insisted on leaving as it was 10 already and she was getting late for home as was evident from the relentless calls from her home. He knew that he could not make her stay any further irrespective of how much he wanted her to. He offered to drop her home to which she agreed after a mild protest.

When they reached near her home, she said that she would go alone from thereon. The mere thought of separation had evoked an unprecedented fear in him and now it was time to face the moment he had been dreading the most.

“So, I guess here we part our ways. Thanks for the wonderful evening.” She said with a suppressed shade of sadness in her voice.

“Yes, I guess so. Thank you for gifting me some of the most beautiful moments of my life 
which I would never be able to forget”

“Goodnight, Ayush.”

“Goodnight, Dhwani. Give me a call when you reach home”

“I shall. Bye”


“Bye”

He stood there for some moments until he could no longer see her shadow and hear her footfalls. And when he could not see her, he turned around and started walking back.
As he looked up in the sky, the night was entering into its youth and a crescent shaped Moon had appeared like some beautiful pendant on its neck.
For a moment, he felt that the moon was actually smiling at him and a distant star glittered just then, as if it had winked at him and a few words conjured themselves up in the shape of a poem



The restlessness of waves and their longing for moon
A silent witness of which is the solitary shore
Drenched with a taste and hope that they’ll come soon
Forever in incomplete embrace, when did it ask for more?

Always content with a handful of oysters left behind
As souvenirs of a brevity, plain, wet and white
Hopeful that its voice will resonate across until the waves find
And rush for an eternal rendezvous despite the moonlight.

                                                                   

                                                                                  *



 One can never get to know what happened between Ayushmaan and Dhwani after that. What was her reply to him, I don’t know and truly speaking, I don’t find the need of it because somewhere within each and every one of us, there live an Ayushmaan and a Dhwani who awaken us to the voice of our hearts and guide us to the path of love and make us believe in one fact that irrespective of the outcome, the mere presence of it can make every moment of life more beautiful. Love makes us less cynical and more certain about all the goodness on this Earth and everyone should undergo the mystical and magical journey of it

And we all have a unique story having a unique flavor to it. Different stories have different endings but tales like these are never meant to end because they never really originated from anywhere. They had been there always and would always be. Just like eternity, unborn yet immortal. Only the characters would change but the stories would live on forever. And I hope that you also find your story very soon.

Oh btw, she ate away half of his ice cream.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

On the tip of Grass



The man is not ready to believe the fact there the land belongs to mankind. It Is not too cheap to be traded with money, not too big to be divided into boundaries, not too strong endure the eternal atrocities it’s being inflicted upon.  The heart of the land is in tears and not surprisingly in the hue of crimson. Because we have made it force down an endless ocean of blood. Human blood. Blood dripping out of the shriek of a mother who has just lost her only son while fighting for the land he was told belongs to him and is still waiting for his ashes. Blood leaking out of the stone cold eyes of a small child whose father was shot down this evening only because he chose and believed that the path of righteousness and responsibility for the same would one day reign above everything. And also blood oozing out through the vagina of a dead virgin girl who was raped in a car seven years ago and later tortured to the level that she begged on her knees for her death. I can see that the sky has shed its usual colors and wrapped itself up in the perpetual color of red. Or maybe the sky is just a mirror making a streak of reflection about what is happening under. May be.

Now a days it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish between morning and dark. The sun and the moon all look the same to me. My eyes too are smothered in a monochrome. I’m not blind I’m simply color blind. And the blindness is the greatest gift of me to myself. Now I can’t tell which is blood and which is water. Which is selfishness and which is selflesness. Which is love and which is hatred. Which is murder and which is martyrdom. I have let the reins of my sense of judgment to a few people whom I thought were most eligible to manage but not to rule my land. I have traded my conscience to a void that is dreamless and emotionless. In that void, I can’t see through but there is absolutely no hint or trace of the rainbow of my imaginations. My perspective about the rising tomorrow of the land I still think is connected to me invisibly through some umbilical cord. No, nothing. Just a piercing and deafening scream of jet blackness. It’s giving me a great consolation for the irrevocable sin I have committed. I have in my fist a handful of the ashes of my soul I had burnt long ago. I can feel absolute numbness in my limbs because my heart doesn’t simmer me anymore with the deluge of affection. I’m dying naked with this chill. But I don’t know the pain of death. May be I’m dead a long time back or may be that I was never ever alive.  Dreams have turned into hallucinations and realities into nightmare. Are my eyes closing due to the undeniable and unforgiving syringe of death or opening from a long slumber I had?

I’m floating in air, at the intersection of life and death, the middle junction between the earth and the sky. Now the hands of my brothers, mothers, sisters or friends can never reach to me. Now their voices are blurring into an oblivion and their convergence is only a meek decibel star I can see that is too weak to lighten me again. I’m being catapulted away from every lovely imagery of life I’ve ever known or felt. The air gushing past me feels burning hot. And mingling with the cold sensation of my body, it is giving birth to a painful contrast. But I’m too dead to experience it.  Thank God.

But it’s far better than the pain to see your land surrendering so helplessly to the guns, tanks, mortars and money of a bunch of people. The shameless and the disgusting undressing of my land by self proclaimed protectors of its dignity. Ironical but true. Trust me, it’s way better than the pain of being an unemotional witness to a carnage than protesting against it. And that’s why I’ve picked up the trajectory of ignorance to elude that pain. My indifference is the only refuge from the siege of my ideologies, perceptions and experience with truth which have been bitter and shattering to say the least.

And that is the only reason why I believe that I can never be as common as the people around me are.